June 2003

06302K3
7-Eleven has spicy itallian sausage hotdogs now. They're awesome with that spicy mustard they have in the packets. I should have grabbed two of them because now I'm hungry.

This weekend our tech/sales guy Dave quit without notice even though he knew he was going to be taking another job (he took all his tools home Friday and didn't tell anyone why). Craig was going to start this thing where he gives computers out for free but charges a monthly maintenace fee of like $50 or something. Then he was going to stay home and manage the web hosting and internet access stuff and let Dave manage the store with a huge pay raise. Now Dave's making 11/hr with a 45-minute drive. Idiot.

Some dorky guy with ghostly white skin and a lingering, musty odor just walked in asking if we needed a hardware tech. I told him no because I don't wanna work with that geek. Maybe Tim wants the job.

In other news, last night I had some awesome ideas for Final Darkness. I was gonna write them down but I figured I would remember. My memory sucks. All I remember is thinking how it would add a cool horror element for the part where Sandman and Twiztid enter Pretzel's mind. Oh well.

06272K3
Since I don't want to write the "about me" section and I know if I do it's just going to be filled up with bloated-ego stuff about how much ass I kick, I've decided to let other people write it for me.

So here's your chance to really grill me, or praise me, or make me look however you want. Whether it's good or bad, I'll put it up. You can choose to be anonymous if you want.

Just write up what you think of me and what kind of person you believe me to be and send it to me with a subject of "about you". Be sure to tell me if you wish to remain anonymous or not. If you really want to be anonymous so not even I know who you are, head over to no-id.com.

I'll include the vitals, you include the rest. Go nuts.

Send mail to james@cdeath.net

06252K3
If you've been paying attention (or if I remembered to mention it...I don't remember) you know that I've been doing a lot of work for some wealthy doctor clients. Today I busted my ass for another $2k, and I got four other designs done just in case they want anymore sites done. Craig just cut a VERY nice deal with them with a price tag of $90k~ on it. I should be getting a good cut of that...I hope. I haven't seen much of anything for all the work I've been doing. I hope he's not fucking me on this, because that would make me angry. It's been a long time since I was really angry...I don't even remember it. People usually try their best to avoid pissing off a physical and intellectual vindictive behemoth such as myself.

Just kidding. Please don't fire me. :(

06242K3
It's done, biatch! Took me a while to convert all those sections. I still have to make the "about me" section.

New stuff:

Messenger Mayhem
benisretarded
captainpenis
font
lunch
mannerim
robisrob
ssapal

Text Archives
trembling assailants
burned out
tro-tet
who r u

Graphics
sandsig3
lake247logo
lake247
sandsig4
finaldarkness
promeds
suntrust
origin

And one new quote.

And the girl in the nav links to the infamous cdeath bs folder.

If you find any mistakes, be sure to let me know.

06222K3
The layout is done. I've just got to change the format the pages are in and it'll be up as soon as I'm finished with that.

06202K3
I'm currently in the process of making suntrustsucks.com because..

A few weeks ago my boss received a check from some Nigerians (you can already smell the scam) routed through a bank in Texas. It was a real check and a real account with real funds but there was something with the numbers that was off. It was counterfeit, and it was for $50k. My boss had no way of knowing for sure that it was counterfeit beyond it being from the Nigerians so he deposited it. Then Suntrust totally bitched him out for depositing a counterfeit check. The bank has insurance. My employer would be the victim in this case for receiving a counterfeit check. Morons. A few weeks later he received another check for a similar amount. He figured it was counterfeit, so he called the secret service and they told him to go ahead and deposit the check because Suntrust has insurance and they're like number 3 on the terrorist bank list, so they won't do anything to protect against it. So he did, with a note that says to verify the check through the bank in Texas because it might be counterfeit. Then Suntrust bitched him out again. How the fuck is he supposed to be 100% certain that it's counterfeit. Fucking morons. Today they sent him a letter saying they were going to close his accounts, and this same day his accounts were closed. Here it is a class c felony if you don't give a 30-day notice for that sort of thing. He's running an ad for suntrustsucks.com (it might be suntrust-sucks.com...I forget) in the Sunday paper and I think he's going to call Channel 2 news about it.

In other news, looks like Ben's getting fired. Wednesday Craig sent him home early. He gave this woman the wrong computer, and he was supposed to call her and let her know about the mistake, but talk to her and ONLY her. When he called her both Dave and Craig were saying "ask for Terry." They said it over and over again. He never did, and instead ended up telling her son about the screw up. I think she didn't want her son knowing she got the computer repaired because he's the one who usually repairs it. When he hung up Craig jumped all over his ass and sent him home early. The next day he came in around 12:45 and said he had a doctor's appointment. That night at like 12:30 right as I was about to go to bed he IMed me on AIM and said he might not be in the next day. I'm not the person to talk to about this. I'm not the boss. And what the hell is "might not"? You're either going to be there or you're not. He didn't show up today and he didn't call in. Craig was pissed. Then he IMed me around 4 demanding that I bring his check to him. Fuck that. He said he was supposed to get $270. Craig looked at his time sheet and it only had 24 hours on it because Ben doesn't know how to keep a record of his shit. Craig said he could come by and pick up his shit on his own, so he did. He gave him all $270 in cash...he should have only paid him for 24 hours. Craig's gonna e-mail him around 12 tonight to let him know he's fired, to give him the same courtesy he gave us. It was that or whisper to him on Monday "Hey Ben, you're fired." so he wouldn't hear it, and then at the end of the week when he wants his pay Craig would just say "Didn't you hear me? You're fired. You've been fired since Monday. You've been working for free." That would be so awesome.

And in the OTHER news...the news that you don't like to talk about at parties, Tim aka iowA has started his site up again. I don't know if it's going to have any content, but it's still worth checking out, so go do that by clicking here.

06192K3
Yesterday I was going to lunch and I was weaving through traffic. Behind me I saw this car catching up pretty fast. We both got cought at the red light, and he jumped in the left lane. We were both at the front. It was an ugly, grayish-purple Ford Probe with a huge wing on the back and a whistling noise coming from under the hood. Not sure if it was a turbo/supercharger or belt squeel. The driver yelled something about his car being a V8 killer. As he was revving so I could hear his fart cannon exhaust, I was just wondering why anyone would want to spend money doing that to a Ford Probe. The light turned green and I started out way ahead, breaking the tires loose 3 times on shifts. He caught up a bit but couldn't touch me. I slowed down just so I could catch it at red and he still didn't catch up to me until I was completely stopped. He yelled "again!" and started revving. I took it out of overdrive and stood on the brakes, and launched it at about 1100 rpm, leaving a cloud of smoke behind me. He stayed even with me until I shifted into 3rd and left his ass. I pulled off into a gas station and he followed me in and asked what all I had done to it. I told him as far as I know it's stock. He asked if it was auto or 5-speed. I said auto. He didn't believe me. I got out of the car and showed him, then got back in, started it up and took it sideways going out of the parking lot.

lol @ probe

06162K3
It has recently been brought to my attention that my site is a "blog." I don't like being categorized in with the rest of you morons, so how about you just call it a personal site, instead?

I'm finally buying the Camaro from my aunt. They're selling it to me for $2k. I don't know if it's worth that much, but I'm tired of the Geo. The 'maro's in good condition except for the following:

The muffler has a hole as big as my head.

All the window tinting is stripping off.

Horrible sound system.

The hood and hatch do not stay up on their own.

The rear tires are going bald.

It has 113k miles (which isn't bad for an 87' I guess).

Both the carb and the transmission may need to be worked on.

And it needs a bath and a wax. It's still got it where it counts, though. It has what I presume to be a 5.7 LT1. It gets 60 in about 6.5 and eats riced out civics as appetizers, with other camaros being the main course.

Today I didn't do much of anything. I was dead tired because I woke up around 3am to take a piss and noticed my cousin on MY computer. He's supposed to be on Jason's computer. I didn't really pay any mind to it until about two hours later, in my sleep. I jolted awake and turned the monitor on (he was sleeping on the couch at this time) and Norton's auto protect was disabled. Classic sign of a backdoor. I brought up the task manager and saw navap32a.exe. That's my sparta server. The moron installed sparta on my system. Fortunately it was my server and it goes to Tim and I's victim logger (something like 2k victims and rising). I couldn't go back to sleep after that, and I didn't feel like going to school because I was dead tired so I went to work. I wrestled with this stupid online consultation site all day. It should have only taken me an hour at the most to do what I was doing, but I couldn't think straight. Red Bull does nothing.

A little while ago I flamed my boss on his blog site. You can view it by clicking here. When I flamed him on this site, he fired my ass soonafter. Maybe doing it on his site will have the opposite effect, and he'll make me the boss and he can be the abused graphics designer. I'll make him drive around in a shitty van and listen to my horrible singing, and then I'll talk about him behind his back and fire him just after he pays his insurance so he has no money at all until he gets another job, which he will most likely not get because his standards are too high and he doesn't have the education or experience he needs to get anything he would be happy with. But I'll have to buy him lunch everyday, and that sucks, because he'd choke down expensive hotdogs like a queer on Gay Day at Disney.

06102K3
Today was interesting. It started off with me being late to work. No real reason, just late. Since I was going to be late I decided to stop and get some breakfast and some donuts, so at least I would have a good excuse. I got there and Ben and the newly-hired Dave were waiting in the parking lot because Craig hadn't showed up yet and only Craig and I have keys to get in. I unlocked the doors and disarmed the alarms and stuff and the phones were ringing off the hook with people complaining about the web hosting/e-mails not working. Craig finally came in around 9:30. It turns out he was installing a generator at his house (where all the web servers are) and they were offline for a while. He e-mailed everyone before it happened and they still didn't know why things weren't working because they couldn't get on the internet. The e-mails still weren't working with everything powered back on because all the config files were lost, so he had to go back home. In the mean time we answered a ton of phone calls, and I ordered an Air Tornado intake for my tracker for about $70 for some goddamned reason. Craig came back in about an hour later as a wreck - a stressed, sweaty wreck. He got everything working, but people wouldn't stop calling him on his cell, and he locked his keys in his house and had to wait until someone with the key came by. During that time, the guy who cuts his grass kept beeping him on his cell and wouldn't stop. Craig told him he was busy and to call back later, and he kept beeping. Finally Craig told him that if he beeped him one more time, he'd kick his ass and not pay him to cut his grass any longer, as well as back out of some deal they had (involving loaning the guy a lot of money). He beeped him again. About ten minutes after Craig came in the door, the guy came in talking shit. After he left, Craig called the authorities and let them know that the guy had marijuana growing in his house/yard.

Then I made some progress on a few projects today. Some personal, some professional. One was an x-rated mousepad site where you can either choose from a gallery of photos or upload your own for a custom mousepad. Had to go through a ton of porn to find suitable images. Most fun I've had at work in a while.

We got another counterfeit check from Nigeria today. This one is for $45k. Craig called the FBI, who then directed him to the secret service. They told him to go ahead and deposit the check, and withdrawal the money, because the banks have insurance, and if his bank is dumb enough to fall for the same thing twice that he should change banks. Those were his exact words. Craig's about to be $45k richer. Maybe he'll buy me a computer.

06092K3
I'm on week four and I still haven't gotten the new layout up and I have yet to move the site over to the other server. Work's a bitch, ain't it? But It's all good when you're making $1300 a week.

Actually, I'm only making that much this week. Some doctor made a massive order on web design and stuff. The total came out to be $6700, most of which is marketing. All I have to do is make multiple copies of a website with different logos and colors. Now I can actually afford my insurance.

Not much of anything has happened in the past week. When you work seven days a week and spend the rest of the time sleeping, there's not much to tell.

My brother brought home the new Metallica album the other day - St. Anger. It's a good thing it only cost $10, because it's not a very good album. It sounds like a really bad garage band. The terrible vocals cover the guitars and the drums sound like Lars is beating on trash cans with rebar. There are no guitar solos, and apparently Rob is not featured on the album, but instead has Bob Rock filling in on the bass. The songs are very repetitive and uncreative, and some are just comically bad. It does not sound like Metallica. It's said that the album was made primarily as a statement - its raw style sets itself far away from all the techno, hip-hop, rap-rock garbage that we all loathe, but just because it's a statement doesn't mean it's a good album. It also makes me wonder why they're trying to set themselves away from the current trends while simultaneously getting their lyrics from Linkin Park's trash can. I'm anticipating the next album, which will feature Rob on bass and the return of Kirk Hammett on lead guitar -- with solos. At least I hope so. Megadeth needs to do something soon to rescue us from this bullshit. Oh wait, they suck now, too. Damn.

This weekend I'm going to try to finish Act 2 of the new Final Darkness. If you haven't read act one yet, you can get it here. I've gotten a surprising amount of positive feedback so far, whereas, in the old version, the only part anyone liked was Odin shooting down Evilcrow's jet with a jar of mayonnaise.

06012K3
Last night I got pulled over on Wolfbranch for speeding. My cruising speed is 50 mph. Here's how the convo with the cop went:

Cop: License and registration.

Me: (handing him my stuff) Was I speeding?

Cop: I pulled you over because I caught you doing 59 in a 45 zone.

Me: Bullshit!

Cop: Excuse me?

Me: I'm in a Geo Tracker with a 3-speed automatic transmission and a 80hp 1.6 liter engine, and I was going up a hill. There's no way I could have been going that fast. I was cruising below 50 before I got to the hill, and my car shakes at 55. It wasn't shaking.

Cop: Sir, I clocked you doing in excess of 55.

Me: Can I see the radar?

Cop: I was pacing you so it's not on the radar.

Me: If you were pacing me then your exact speed can't be very accurate, can it? You weren't even right behind me until I got up the hill, and when I saw the lights I checked my speedometer and I was going 45.

Cop: (doesn't say anything, goes to his car, comes back, hands me my stuff) I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Do you speed often?

Me: This is the first time I've ever been pulled over for speeding, and I wasn't speeding.

Cop: (writes out a warning) This here is a written warning. You can keep it, or you can throw it away. Normally, this would be a $148 speeding ticket. I'm giving you a warning even though I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, just in case you're bulljiving me. Get that speedometer looked at. Drive safely, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mouth-off to other law enforcement officers like you did me.

What a lying bastard.

Sandman

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June 2003

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