May 2006
05282K6
I was coming back home from my aunt's house yesterday around 6:30. It was a clear, sunny day, the car was running great, I had a full tank of gas, I had my boost dialed up high, the traffic was light and the left lane was wide open for as far as I could see.
So, I got pulled over by FHP for doing 90 in a 55. The guy was cool and liked my car so he gave me a ticket for doing 64 in a 55, which is $83.50. Cheapest ticket I've ever gotten for the fastest I've ever been pulled over for.
05222K6
According to my father, I'd be much better off if...
I burned my computer and quit my job, because computers are a tool of the devil.
I sold my car, quit my job and bought a farm.
I sold my car, quit my job and took up kickboxing.
I sold my car, quit my job, bought an old pickup truck and sold home-grown plants out of the back of it.
I sold my car and bought an old cargo van (no reason given, other than a hint that he would sell his van to me).
I sold my car, quit my job, bought an old pickup truck, burned my computer/other electronic devices/media and went camping.
I applied to be a volunteer fireman.
My brother and I pooled our money together to buy the best dirt bike we could afford.
05182K6
Josh brought home some crab legs last night, and my dad came over and said my room smelled funny...because of the demonic presence there.
Damn demons all up in my crib. A guy can't even eat some crab legs without demons making the room smell like crab legs.
05152K6
Yesterday my dad showed up and needed me to drive him to Mount Dora to pick up his retarded wife. She got upset about something (he told me he didn't know what) and got out of the truck and started walking down the road with no clear destination, and when he got out to try to get her back in she started hitting him. Then people started stopping, telling him to leave her alone, and someone wrote down his tag number and called the cops. We found her walking near the park and I let him get out as I sat at the park in my car, and people kept staring at me like they thought I was a child molester (it's the beard I guess). He got back in the car and had me drive to a convenience store about 3 blocks away, where he bought a single can of Pepsi that we brought back to her. Then we came back to my place and he left in his truck to pick her up. Of course, during this time he was preaching and lecturing and shit. I've trained myself to not pay much attention to him and say only programmed subconscious responses so I have no idea what it was about. All I know is that there wasn't a span of five seconds where he wasn't talking.
The reason she got upset: my dad bought himself some beer and didn't get her anything to drink, even though she said she didn't want anything when he asked her before he stopped at a store somewhere.
I thought I was going to get to make up for the shitty day I had with a crab leg dinner, but Josh came home empty-handed so I had a cheese sandwich, instead.
Fixed both my intercooler shroud and engine fan problems with duct tape. Hopefully it'll hold until PTE responds to me and sends me the bolts I need. While rolling around under my car I noticed my rear main seal is leaking, but it didn't look like duct tape would do the trick.
If anyone's interested in buying an 04 Escallade with slight (or "severe", if you're the glass-is-half-empty type) water damage, contact salmond@gmail.com.
05022K6
