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November 2003

11282K3
Lots of people came yesterday for the LAN. Unfortunately I couldn't stay up all night because I had to work the next morning (which is now). It wouldn't have mattered anyway, because it looks like my stuff isn't getting here until Monday, unless UPS is shipping today. I doubt they are. Lazy fuckers.

I was going to buy some new RAM and a new motherboard, and then give my current motherboard and RAM to my brother, and then take his stuff and use it for the server (has a decent asus mobo and registered ECC PC2100). But I wore myself out creating all of those hyperlinks and decided to just go lie down for a while instead.

Actually I need a new exhaust for my car because it has holes bigger than my head. I also need to fix my carb. I think I'll just buy a whole new one. Then I need new brakes (the car shakes like it's going to fall apart whenever I hit the brakes going more than 40), rims and tires (the tires are narrow and crappy, and I've got the nasty black wheels), new window tinting (it's peeling off), a new paint job (oak leaves ate it up), new stereo and speakers (the only thing I can listen to is talk radio), and then the extra stuff like an aluminum flywheel, fiberglass hood, headers, cold air intake and the suspension lowered about an inch. So it'll be a while before I'm able to buy new computer parts.


11242K3
Please take note of the donation link under the navigation to the right. Click the WTF link for more information.

Last week I ordered some stuff and it hasn't even been shipped out yet. I REALLY wanted it by this week. Doesn't look like that's going to happen. :(

I got some pretty interesting e-mails over the weekend from visitors, ranging in topics from European 'net stalkers to remotely cracking AIM passwords with a hex editor. Someone else asked if you could crash someone's computer through AIM by sending binary packets to make their disc spin too fast.

Yesterday (Sunday) my grandmother and I were to set off to Sam's Club to buy a phone, since my phone sucks and I wanted a phone with two handsets that don't require a phone line, so I wouldn't have to run off to the back of my bedroom everytime the phone rings. They had said phone advertised for just under $200, which is pretty cheap compared to prices on them around here. Before we left I said "We're just going straigt to Sam's and straight back, right?" I got a hesitant "Uh-huh" in reply. That was my cue to trip over my own feet and impale myself on some rebar sticking out of the ground so I wouldn't have to go. Unfortunately there was none, so I got in the car and waited for her to say "On second thought..." Sure enough, as soon as we got past the first traffic light: "On second thought, let's go to Ross on the way home so you can get yourself some new shorts." Shorts for me? How nice of you. Unfortunately during the Fall and Winter seasons Ross doesn't sell shorts because I'm one of the very few people who realize that just because it's December doesn't mean it's too cold to wear shorts. Well, I've been knee-deep in snow on top of a mountain in Austria wearing nothing but denim shorts and a light t-shirt while people stood around me dressed in full-on Winter atire and shivering their asses off, so maybe I'm not the best light clothing weather determining factor. And I only wear pants when my job requires it. It doesn't. So, there's no reason for me to go to this horrid clothing store, you loathsome hellspawn of a woman. "But we might find something you like." Oh, now I'm sold! We might find a jacket or sweater! Please excuse me as I try to contain my enthusiasm.

We went into Sam's - the busiest store I've ever been to and probably the closest thing to Hell on earth I've encountered as of yet - and I went straight to the phones while my grandmother went over to renew her membership. Found the phone I wanted, found a cheaper one without all the features I didn't need, *bam* I was out of there. Saw that my grandmother was still at the counter, so I browsed the stereos and DVDs and whathaveyou. Didn't see anything I wanted enough to pick up, so I walked towards the counter with my phone in hand, ready to leave that fusty culvert of annoying old people. *screeech* Hold up, we have to look around the store for Christmas gifts. That's fine, I can live with that. Christmas is coming up, after all. So, where do we go? The electronics section? No. The toy section? Nope. Sporting goods? Negative. We went straight to the frozen food section, of all places. If you're familiar with Sam's Club, you know that their frozen food section consists of 20-packs of pizzas and six foot crates full of burritos. I think they had a sale - buy a crate, get one free and half-off of your next purchase of a 30 gallon tub of mayonnaise. She pointed out just about every item to me and I had to turn them all down, each time saying "We have no room for that. We're not going to make room for that. No one's going to eat it. You're a fucking crazy bitch." I think I mostly just said that last sentence in my head, or to some other old lady standing next to me. That would explain all of the rude old men.

After we got done with that, my grandmother wanted to get some lasagna stuff one of the henchmen were giving out as free samples of doom. Instead of parking her empty cart aside and waiting patiently, she parked it sideways in the middle of the isle and kept asking stupid questions. Meanwhile everyone's getting pissed off because she's causing a huge traffic jam of old farts and shopping carts. After five minutes of waiting and ten minutes of trying to get out of the mess she caused, she did it again with a sample of hot chocolate. I swear I heard some black guy say "Aw, it's that stupid bitch with the red hair again! I'm fo' real!"

We eventually made our way to the check-out counter and bought the phone (yes, after an hour of browsing, all we got was the phone) and we went to Ross. I walked in, didn't see any shorts, ran into someone I haven't seen in about two years, talked for about ten minutes and walked out. I waited in the car until about 3:30 when my grandmother came back empty-handed. We left the house at 10:30, it takes half an hour to get to Sam's, we were in there for about an hour, so we probably got to Ross around 12:15. Ross is not a very big store. I don't see how it's possible to spend over three hours browsing it only to leave without buying anything. But I'm a man of logic, and you pretty much have to throw all logic out the window when trying to understand women. Of course when I say "women" my grandmother is excluded, because in order to be a woman you'd first have to be human. I don't believe she fits into that category.

And she won't even let me have my phone until Christmas.


11202K3
Added a "freestyle diss" thingy my brother and I did a while ago to the poetry section in the text archives.

Launched the new KGB*Clan Forums and brought aboard a gaming site - hishee.com - that will hopefully be finished sometime in the near future.

I was going to change the colors around on this site to make reading the text easier on the eyes, but I'm lazy. Screw you.

And speaking of reading text, here are a few snipplets of dialog from parts of Final Darkness that I haven't finished yet.

Dethlocke and a sober (for once) Odin

Odin:		Well, there were good times.
		There were bad times.
		And there were great times.
		But...mostly bad.
		Horrible, too. But mostly just bad.
		And sometimes, when you're really drunk,
		The loop line circling the adjectives and
		connecting the two extremeties becomes
		like a magnetic force, drawing the two
		closer like opposing poles.
		
Dethlocke:	You mean it's hard to tell the difference
		between a great time and a horrible time.
		
Odin:		Of course that's what I mean!
		That's like me saying "I like steak," and
		then you replying, "You mean you like steak."
		Get with the program here!
		
Dethlocke:	Sorry. I was just making sure.
		So, what happened when you couldn't decipher
		between the great times and the horrible times?
		
Odin:		Loss of my virginity.

Dethlocke:	That doesn't sound so horrible. Or did you
		think it was horrible, when it was actually
		great?
		
Odin:		No, no, I thought it was great.

Dethlocke:	Oh. So what's wrong with losing your virginity?

Odin:		It was to an erotic novelty lamp.

Dethlocke:	...Well I can see why that wouldn't be so great.

Odin:		Yeah. That's alcohol's side-effects: poor
		judgement, eyesite...and taste, in more ways
		than one. And in retrospect, all I can muster
		up in thought is..."Why?"
		Why couldn't I just have waited until the
		next night?
		
Dethlocke:	What happened the next night?

Odin:		That was my wedding night.

Dethlocke:	Oh. Who'd you marry?

Odin:		The lamp.

Dethlocke:	You're losing me.

Odin:		I was still pretty drunk. I could have
		just waited until that night, but instead
		we had pre-marital sex. So when the wedding
		night arrived, it just wasn't as special.
		And that's how what seems to be a great time
		can turn out to be a horrible time.
		
Dethlocke:	I'll try to remember that.


I don't know

Fellas, I feel this is an appropriate time to announce my parting.

	Your parting?

My parting. I'm getting out of the Business. I've been here for a long
time, and I don't like what I'm doing here. Call it an attack of conscience.

	So you're leaving? Why now? You mean to tell us that after years
	of conducting this kind of business, you're leaving on account of
	an attack of conscience? This wouldn't have anything to do with
	Vinny and his boys getting busted, would it?
	
	I smell a rat.
	
You think I'd rat you out? You think I'm a stool pigeon? If I were to rat
yous guys out, I'd be the biggest hypocrite scum walking the earth. This
has nothing to do with the busts. In fact, I've had a few of my boys working
on the burning of a little paper trail we recently discovered. I'm not happy
with what I'm doing, and I know everyone's a little edgy. So I'm going to
leave before I do something stupid.

(slowly takes a gun out, keeping it pointed down, removes magazine)

But if you honestly think I'd rat you out.

(attaches silencer to the barrel)

If you consider me a threat.

(holds the pistol by the barrel, loads magazine and pulls the hammer back)

If you really think I'd be the dirty rat bastard scum to blow the whistle.

(hands the pistol to one of the men)

Then shoot me as I leave.

(gets his hat and coat, turns around and walks towards the door.)

(the men look at eachother)

(he opens the door and starts to walk out)

(two silenced gun shots are heard, followed by a body hitting the floor)

		Dead men tell no tales.
		
		Hey! I'm a freakin' pirate over here!


Dreams

Dialog in the first part of act 3

Early in the morning
Dethlocke, Krystal, Evilcrow and Piegod are up
Piegod's in the kitchen, the others are sitting at a table

Krystal:	You're edgy today.

Dethlocke:	It's these dreams I had last night...they were so intense..
		I kept waking up and I couldn't remember where I was, and I'd
		go back to sleep and have the same dreams over and over again.
			
Evilcrow:	Dude, I was having dreams, too! What were yours about?

Dethlocke:	I don't remember...I could recognize everything in my dreams,
		but now I can't remember the details at all. Maybe it has something
		to do with my past.
			
Evilcrow:	Oh. I had dreams where Piegod was actually some kind of genius
		wordsmith and he used this skill of his to verbally make love to
		food.
			
Dethlocke:	Then you've definately got me beaten in terms of weird dreams.

Krystal:	Can you remember anything at all?

Dethlocke:	All I remember are emotions. I felt powerful; arrogant; crafty,
		like I was planning something. I knew something they didn't.
			
Kystal:		Who is they?

Dethlocke:	I don't know. I remember other people being there, but I don't
		remember a thing about them. And I had this dream over and over
		again, and each time I woke up I felt exhausted.
			
Krystal:	We could have Sandman examine you, to find out more about the
		dreams.
			
Evilcrow:	I wonder how Eric's doing.

Dethlocke looked confused.

Evilcrow:	Pretzel.

Krystal:	He seemed fine yesterday. It was like he was too overjoyed in his
		newly aquired health to feel depressed about Troy's death.
			
Evilcrow:	So was I. I felt bad at first, but that was the first time I've seen
		Eric genuinly happy. He's like a whole different person.

Piegod comes from the kitchen holding a sandwich.

Piegod:		Maiden Sandwich, nestled in mine unworthy wordly hands,
		With bread so soft as the morning sunlight's gentle touch
		On yonder pantry doors coupling window shaded silhouettes
		Cast down and pierced a virgin sky with such a loving ferocity,
		Much like thine heavenly starlet appeal hast pierced mine own heart,
		Beating for thee and driven by a god-issued warrant of timeliness,
		Lest my blood runneth nevermore and my eyes - and mouth - never to feast
		On your saintly beauty with ham and roast beef sliced with such heartwrenching care
		And pools of yellow mustard lust, provisioned by mine tongue's desire.
		For to embrace thy timeless being with such passion of taste and infatuation,
		Possibly bringing on some flatulation and eluding to a fatty consecration,
		Is to kiss the lips of Aphrodite for a length no clock or rhythm could measure.
		But Aphrodite hath not such a potent kiss as thou can deliver
		With your spread tides of mayonnaise of quality unmatched
		(Which is NOT in a container magically sealed and shot into the skies
		By a crazed mortal man believing himself to be a god)
		And such fine cheese reaching unworldly heights of unfathomable goodness
		That would make the lips of even the most disciplined quiver.
			
Piegod takes a bite out of the sandwich.

Piegod:		Ah, mine Maiden Sandwich, thou art verily mine one true goddess.

Piegod leaves the room.



11172K3
Since I don't have anything to ramble on about today, I'm going to address some comments and questions flung wildly in my general direction in the form of a brief FAQ/FMC (frequently made comment):

Why don't you have it so people can post comments about all your updates, poetry, stories and stuff?
Aside from honestly not caring, it's just spam bait. If you really want to comment on something, contact me

I saw some graphics of yours on other sites with different text on them. Did you steal them?
No, they were stolen from me. Don't bother sending me the URLs of sites with my graphics on them because there's not a whole lot I can do or am willing to do about it. But feel free to harrass them.

I saw one of your freestyles on a rap battle forum // I saw one of your poems on a poetry site, and you weren't given credit.
As long as no one is making money off of it, I won't care enough to try to do something about it. That's not an invitation for you to rip me off, though. And for the people taking lines from my rap disses, I get about ten "freestyle diss" searches in my referer logs a day, so there's a pretty good chance someone else on the board has already read them and will point them out. Also, I've stomped the shit out of the "heavyweight champ" on rapcities so there are a lot of people who will know my lines when they see them.

Why don't you update more often? Didn't you originally plan on updating every day?
Yes, but I don't have the time nor the material to do that. After all, there's only so many times I can write "I woke up and went to work and did nothing all day." This page is already horribly insipid as it is.

You got your name from the Sandman comics. Don't you think that's a bit unoriginal for your standards?
I did not get my name from the Sandman comics. I hadn't even heard of them, much less read them until about two years ago. And I didn't get it from that stupid Metallica song, if that's what you're thinking. To be perfectly honest, I can't even remember where I got it from.

Are you the same Sandman who used to post on gamehacking.com?
Yep. Amazing how much a person can change in five years, huh?

You're really not as smart as you claim to be.
It's not that I'm smart; it's just that you're all so dumb.

You come off as a real arrogant jerk on your site.
This is one of the few places I'm able to vent my frustrations, so naturally I sometimes sound bitter towards...everything. As for the arrogance, most if that is sarcasm/satire.

Will you make some graphics for my site/design my site for me?
Sure.

For free?
Please die.

How many hits do you get a month?
Roughly 2-3k. This site is mainly intended to be read by friends and associates, so I'm not too concerned about that.

Can you put up a link to my site?
If I like it (probaly not).

I think most of your site is bullshit.
Some things are exaggerated. Some stories are completely made up (and it's obvious when they are, like my story with the pimp palace, and the war against October). Sometimes I act like something pisses me off when I really feel indifferent towards it. Sometimes I get mixed up when recalling things from memory. 95% of what I say is true, leaving only 5% bullshit. So most of the updates are not bullshit.

Are you trying to coppy Maddox or make satire of his site?
No, this site is nothing like Maddox's. At all. And a lot of his site is satire, so I couldn't make satire of it. I seriously don't see how the two sites could even be compared. This is a personal site with updates about what's going on with my life. His is a rant site. The only thing we have in common is that we're both seemingly pissed off almost all the time.

I e-mailed you and you never replied!
I either missed it because you didn't put the subject in all caps, or I didn't feel like replying. A lot of the comments I've posted today were from e-mails that I didn't respond to, so maybe one is yours.

When the hell are you going to finish Final Darkness? I'm dying to read the second act!
Liar. Probably never, but I do poke at it from time to time. If I'm not doing anything this weekend I'll try to finish the second act.

Your page is ugly.
K.

Who is Craig?
My employer. I take cheap shots at him from time to time. He reads this site.

I still think it'd be cool if you had a comments system on your site.
Then copy my site and put a comments system on it.


11132K3
Added sandsig5.jpg to the graphics section. I've made a few dozen images but that was the only one I could remember and had readily available.

Those crazy web crawling bots are at it again. This time it was from this site, which is exactly like the others but with different news and colors. According to a whois I did, it's owned by some dork named Bradley Boesel at NW 9th Avenue Building 34, Beaverton, OR 97007, 804-556-4201. That's kind of funny because that phone number belongs to a Mr. Robert L Mcdermott, 2401 Country Ln, Maidens, VA 23102.

Ain't that some shit? Not only are they disguising their bot sites, but they're registering them under phony IDs.


11122K3
People are finding this site by searching for some very odd things. The search engine keyword searches I've found in my referer logs:

duct tape bitches
virtual vallery
chicken fucking
animal porn
gamecube hentai
paintball models
real frog enemy
final fantasy porn
aim prank sluts
twiztid hairstyles
turkish recipes
picknick table plan
comic book porn
cybersex tips
how to burn cpu
grunge gothic bitches
porntrainers
how to scam your parents
what font looks like serpentine
choir boys
belching fish
how to scam
pokemon hentai
stupid gardens
shut her damn mouth
cars that look like ears
aim prank tutorial
what does nostalgia mean

There are tons of others, but those are the ones I thought were funny or odd. And now that I've made a list of all those things, I'll probably be getting a lot more hits from those oddball searches.

Tons of bots have been crawling my various sites, and a few of them have webpages that are disguised as art news pages or some shit. They each have news updated regularly about stupid shit no one cares about, a few links to various sites and a list of referers. If they're trying to disguise the web crawler bot sites, then they're probably up to no good. There are evil spy bots crawling my sites and I don't appreciate it one bit. I would create a robots.txt file, but then google couldn't search my site....and with people coming to my site looking for hentai and cybersex tutorials, I really don't see anything wrong with doing that. But instead I think I'll make my own bot and crawl all over their sites. I'm pretty sure they'll surrender after that and stop this foolish web crawling crusade they're on.

Since I had my logs up, I decided to check all of my sites and I noticed that cdeath.net is getting more hits than this one. I have no idea why. There's nothing there, and there never has been. I checked the referer logs and all I see is lucien.jpg being loaded from a few of my other sites, but certainly not three thousand times. That means that people are visiting cdeath.net on a very regular basis for no reason other than to confuse the hell out of me. If that's the case, mission accomplished, guys.


11112K3
The third part of the grandparents rants is in the random thoughts section of the text archives.


11102K3
Added the second installment of the Grandparents to the random thoughts section of the text archives.


11072K3
The Grandparents - Part 1 is in the random thoughts section of the text archives.


11032K3
I'm going to start a new series of articles/rants about the source of all my frustrations - my grandparents. I'll have it started sometime this week.

In other news, I've started playing Diablo 2 again. I'm on the normal ladder on useast, account name +The_Sandman+ and usually found in op cdeath. Feel free to drop by and !page the bot.

Other clickable things

Various images:
Photos
Images
Screenshots

.

Contact:
craigsucks at gmail dot com